I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
