There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just pee around me
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
