I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
