White coat. Heels.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
