hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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