There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
