sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
