This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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