i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
