so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
