you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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