they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
