ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
