Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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