now i know why i became what i already was.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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