i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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