i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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