You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
