Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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