So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
