Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
