I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I love you.
Bad choice
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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