he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
