You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
