Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
The power of my boobs compel you
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
