HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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