If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
