I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
that may or may not have been my penis.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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