btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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