Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
