It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
