im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
