scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
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She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
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We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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