we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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