this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
