if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
