its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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