Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
