He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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