Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Im part way to drunk.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
