I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
