That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
