Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
