my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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