officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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