I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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