i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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