ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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