He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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