once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
