That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
