I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
