The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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