He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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