fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
