Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
