did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
