Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize