uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
