Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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